Crossfit isn’t a cult, it’s a family

So a lot of people will tell you Crossfit is a cult. Once you drink the Koolaid, you’re done for. Welcome to the club.

But I don’t see it that way.

I see Crossfit as a family. Your brothers and sisters all together working towards the same goal which could inevitably have you sprawled out on the floor at the end of some bonding time, terrified to move because that bonding exercise you just did was tough. You’re all in this together. It’s not everyone for themselves. If it were everyone for themselves, would you be cheering each other on after finishing? Pushing your brothers and sisters to the limits and yelling TIME when you finally complete the task at hand?

Crossfit is definitely a family. It’s my extended family.

In the past few days, I’ve noticed there are a lot more Crossfitters out there who see it this way too.

During the OC Throwdown held this past weekend (January 11-12), one of Crossfit’s most dedicated athletes suffered a devastating injury. During the competition’s snatch session, Kevin Ogar suffered a separated T11/T12 and severed his spinal cord. After he was brought to the hospital, doctors established that he had no voluntary movement below his waist.

Kevin Ogar via Barbells for Boobs

Wow that was tough to type. Just reading it makes me tear up. Seeing an athlete as dedicated and competitive as Kevin endure such an injury just hurts you inside and out.

I don’t know Kevin personally. I didn’t know anything about the competition itself until I read about his injury.

But I also noticed how Crossfitters from across the nation are coming together to support Kevin in his recovery. Both through personal messages and donations. Unfortunately like a lot of athletes, Kevin does not have health insurance.

I said it before, I’ll say it again. Crossfit is a family.

At the time this article was published earlier today, a Fundly page had collected over $60,000 from over 900 of Kevin’s supporters. As of this blog post the donations have reached well over $97,000 from over 1,600 supporters. In just hitting the refresh button on the screen, the donations had increased by $700. Barbells for Boobs is another site that is actively tracking the progress of Kevin’s recovery. They’re establishing a fundraising page that will allow for more of the donations to be accessible to Kevin and his family. Other upcoming Crossfit competitions are setting up places on site where donations can be made to go towards his recovery.

This is family.

Family comes together in times of need to support each other. Family doesn’t have to be in your blood. Family supports one another through the good and the bad. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.

Kevin Ogar post surgery via The RX Review

My thoughts and prayers are with Kevin Ogar, his family, friends, loved ones, and his Crossfit family. #ogarstrong

How crossfit changed my view on fitness

Ok, first of all I want to give a shout out to Megan Clements who wrote this article appropriately titled “On Being Strong: How Crossfit Ended the War with My Body.”

I read this article and could not help but realize how much it relates to me and my personal past struggles.

Before Crossfit, I had tried everything. Cardio, gym memberships, personal trainers, swimming, free weights, and running.

Before eating clean I had tried the fad diets. WeightWatchers, Nutrisystem, The 17 Day Diet, low carb, low fat, low calories, and low sweets.

None of them worked for me. The gym was always monotonous and the results absent.

I used to look at pictures of girls in magazines and think to myself, “man, I want to be skinny like her”. My mom always told me growing up that girls are supposed to be delicate, soft and small. After countless hours of cardio and her constant badgering on wanting me to be “happy and healthy” I looked for other routes.

Crossfit changed everything.

I realized through countless days at the box with I was changing. I started Crossfit with 45 lbs on the barbell. Nearly 9 months later I’ve been able to add 30 lbs on to that bar for some movements, tacking on another 100 lbs for others.

Crossfit made me stronger, eating clean made me healthier, and the box gave me friendships I wouldn’t otherwise have.

I’ve got curves I didn’t have before. I may not look like the girls in those magazines still, but I know I’m healthier and a better person because of Crossfit. I have the friends and fellow athletes I workout alongside pushing me and cheering me on. Having the coaches at my gym to motivate me to add on more weight and push my limits. Having my friends who support and respect my decision to Crossfit who surprise me with little Crossfit gifts like a Wonder Woman journal to track my WODs in.

I thought meal planning and prepping twice a week and living out of Tupperware would be difficult, but it’s quite the opposite. It’s unbelievably easy to prepare food ahead of time, pre-portioned and ready to grab and go from the fridge. Even grabbing a box of greens and tossing some tomatoes and grilled chicken in there during a work event (at least for me) is easier than I thought it would be. And eating out? Why sacrifice a social life when you can still go out with them, eat clean and maintain your health and happiness?

Before Crossfit, I just wanted to be skinny. After starting Crossfit I realized that skinny wasn’t for everyone. I was ready to be fit, strong, and healthy. Crossfit and eating clean was far easier than I thought it would be. Planning out meals and food prepping is easier and far more convenient than I thought it would be. It’s all in your head if you think it’s not. Wouldn’t you rather take a few hours twice a day to cook and prepare everything than opening the fridge and throwing something together last minute? Something that you might not know is healthy or clean enough for you?

Ladies, no matter what, you are beautiful. You are strong. You are unique.

You can be strong and muscular all while still being feminine.

Be you. Do you.

Five on Friday!

It’s finally Friday! My first work-week of the Advocare 24-day challenge + paleo challenge is almost over! I’ve been religiously hitting the box everyday since starting but was too sore to go yesterday. Y’all, when your body is telling you to take a rest day, TAKE A REST DAY. I learned that the hard way a few months ago.

Well, in preparation for a semi-calm weekend of work, I figured I’d throw together a little Five on Friday for y’all. Not only is this my first Five on Friday of 2014, but it’s my first one ever!

1. If you’re challenging yourself to eat better, whether its cleaner, more paleo or whatever, don’t give into your cravings. I can’t tell you how hard those first few days are, but once you pass them it’s clear skies and sweet freedom. I keep fruit and a bag of veggies in my fridge now, and when I get a craving I’ll grab a sweet piece of fruit to satisfy it. It’s been five days since I’ve had anything remotely chocolate and it feels great!

2. Over the past few days it’s been ridiculously cold down here in South Louisiana. I don’t know how you Northerners do it. I was wearing probably five layers just to walk outside and convince Ms. Oakley she needed to go to the bathroom before we could cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie.

3. I started extensive meal planning this week with my Advocare 24-day challenge + paleo challenge. Every Saturday, I sit down with an excel spreadsheet and plan out every single thing I plan on eating that week. No lie. I even have water listed (even though we should ALL be drinking a ton of water, I put it on there as a friendly reminder). Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, pre-workout, dinner, snack, water, water, water. It’s all planned so when I go to the store on Sunday morning I know exactly what I need to buy so I can save money and only buy what I need. There are no excuses if you’re prepared and plan ahead.

4. I learned that there are always people who want you to fail. Always. And you know what happens when you realize that? I pick yourself up off the ground (that’s only if you’ve fallen down), brush the dirt off your butt and keep on with your life. Why? Because it’s YOUR life. It’s your life, your stage, everyone else is just a guest in it. You have to do you first. I had a great talk with one of my good friends over at Eat. Pray. WOD. last night about this same thing. There will always be mean girls who push you around because they’re jealous, insecure, or whatever the reason. From middle school, high school, college, even in the workforce. Just let it go. You can’t let people bring you down. Ever.

5. Lastly, learn to spread your wings. I’ve been job-hunting and up until recently had been limiting myself to Louisiana. Why? Because I’m scared of change. I’m scared to lose the friends I’ve made in Baton Rouge, scared to leave my family in New Orleans, and I’m scared to leave my box and all the great people I’ve met through it. But you know what? There are other boxes out there. There are other cities to call home. There are people out there who can become your future friends and boxmates. You just have to be ready to let go of what’s holding you back and dive on in. Moving can suck. But moving can be good. It can be healthy. Think of it as a new, clean slate. You just have to be ready and accept the challenge.

Five on Friday!

So it’s January

Yesterday was January 6th, which happens to be Kings Day/Twelfth Night, and is the official start of Carnival Season in Louisiana. King Cakes, debutante balls, beads and beer are pretty much the only things that come to mind when I think of Kings Day/Twelfth Night.

But it’s also a new year, and a fresh start for a lot of people. Last year I went through some drama and it wasn’t fun. I told myself that I wouldn’t let affect me in the future or hold me back. Well guess what, it still is. And that kind of sucks.

So forget last year. After all, everything that happened then is so last year. Live in the present. Live for now. Do you.

2014 Resolutions
1. Be happier.
2. Eat Clean, Train Dirty.
3. Get in shape.
4. Spend more time with friends and socializing.
5. Go after my dream job / pursue a career.
6. Take more pictures.
7. Be in more pictures.
8. Hit more PR’s at the Box.
9. Travel more.
10. Live more.
11. Love more.
12. No regrets.
13. Learn to say No.
14. Quit stressing.
15.  Have fun.

I’ve posted this before, and I know how much people just LOVE the “New Year, New Me” hype, but I’m going to share it anyway.

In 2014, I want to be a better person.

I’m going to pay it forward, be welcoming and appreciative to everyone.

I’m going to stop talking down to myself and be more encouraging both personally and to others.

I’m going to walk more. Run more. Enjoy the outdoors with Ms. Oakley.

I’m going to be healthy and I’m not going to let others bring me down.

I’m going to focus on me and let all of the other pieces fall into place.

Happy New Year y’all.

24 day challenge via Advocare paired with Paleo

First of all, I know everyone is just SO ECSTATIC about reading and hearing about each others’ New Years Resolution. If you’re one of those people who can’t really handle any of that right now, you might want to go look at some of my recipes over here. Otherwise, brace yourself.

So it’s Monday. It’s my first day back at work after two weeks off (kinda sorta) from Christmas and New Years. But you know what else it is?

Today is Day 1 of the Advocare 24 Day Challenge.

I’m starting the challenge today, having had planned out my meals and the like for the week. I’m going for the best results possible, so I’m double timing the Advocare with a strict paleo diet. Between this and Crossfit 5x a week, I’m hoping to get off the plateau I’ve been stuck on for the past 2 months.

No alcohol. No bread. No dairy. No sweets. No coffee. No hot chocolate.

I wanted to start the year off with a clean slate, and being that January 1, 2014 was a Wednesday, I wanted to wait until a Monday so that I could have the whole week start to finish to begin the challenge.

So I’ve taken my measurements and recorded my weight and now I’m just trying to find my footing with this setup.

I’ll try and incorporate my progress and postings into the blog as I progress through the challenge, but bear with me on it. I’m keeping up with recipes and noting all of my food prep so I’ll be sure to share that down the road as well. If anyone would like my meal plan setup, feel free to ask!

2013 in a Nutshell

So I’m sitting at home watching the series finale of Treme with my dog sound asleep next to me and I can’t help but think over the last year and what I’ve done.

In January I started grad school. Something I was proud of at the time but then realized I had jumped the gun too quickly. I also got rid of some extra baggage I was carrying around and found a new apartment to escape from my crazy neighbor.

February was ok.  Moved into my new apartment and woke up every morning drinking coffee on the patio and waving to my ex-crazy neighbor. I started a new part time job. New Orleans hosted a Super Bowl and the LSU baseball season opened.

March is the best month because it’s my birthday month. It was a month filled with shenanigans and the travelhood of the sisterpants. Operation “Wet Kiwi” was a success after two of my best friends broke into my apartment and surprised me with birthday shenanigans and general craziness. Oh, and that crazy neighbor? He got evicted.

In April I shared a plate of crawfish with Kirk Herbstreit and other members of the ESPN Gameday crew. It’s is the month that I’m most proud of. April is when I started Crossfit at Red Stick Crossfit.  Joining that gym was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I can’t thank the coaches and my fellow athletes enough for pushing me to my limits and beyond every day.

May was a month filled with craziness. Ms. Oakley turned 1 on Cinco de Mayo and we celebrated accordingly. I quit grad school, put it on the backburner and tried to figure my life out (which no 23 year old should have to do because it’s not fun).

June meant summer. Summer means freedom, well, kind of. LSU baseball made it to Omaha on the anniversary of Warren Morris’ 1996 CWS winning homerun. Tiger Stadium got a new field. Many sunny days were spent at my friends’ rooftop pool in New Orleans, and one of my friends taught me that those fancy sleeves they put on coffee cups is called a zarf.

The rooftop shenanigans and late nights in New Orleans continued all through July, with many trips to the Bulldog, car rides, and kids movies at 10pm on a Saturday night. I made my mom a TOTALLY non-paleo incredibly dirty yet incredibly delicious birthday cake (think cookie, brownie, cookie, brownie, cookie with vanilla icing between each layer covered in chocolate icing and sprinkles galore).

August brought me into the green smoothie lifestyle. Many summer WODs were completed in 90^o+. There was a beach trip and Ms. Oakley found her way into the Gulf of Mexico and played in the sand. I started eating paleo and doing food prep. I also lost my car to a negligent driver to couldn’t see around a truck at a stop sign but thought it was ok to go anyway.  RIP Puf Daddy.

September meant fall (kind of). Fall means football. LSU football started and September also let me go play on the boat in the marsh and bayou for a few days. I got my first RX at Red Stick Crossfit and was incredibly proud of myself. I became addicted to stuffed pork tenderloin. I got a new car that I named Roux and became a grownup with a car note.

October was just junk. Roux got hit by a drunk driver in Downtown Baton Rouge. I had a 28-day rental in the form of a Ford Focus (aka tiny car). I got a crown and was told I was a princess by my dentist. FINALLY hung photos in my apartment after living there for almost a year. I stuffed pork tenderloin with bacon. Yep, I sure did. And I got Roux back just in time for Halloween.

In November I went full paleo and became obsessed with bacon. I tried cooking everything with bacon. And I mean everything. I even tried to convince my mom to wrap the Thanksgiving turkey with bacon. Yep, that pretty much sums up November.

Welp, December. December was a month of letdowns. I had two promising job opportunities that I had interviewed for and found out that neither of them wanted to bring me on as a team photographer. Yeah, I was sad but at the same time I realized that for one of them, I beat out 250 other applicants to become one of the 10 finalists. I went to dinner with my dad and the waiter thought we were together. That was awkward. I helped some crazy friends move into their new house, became BFFs with I-12, got the game winning touchdown in a college playoff game, and got excited over a new dishwasher. The filthy fifty Friday and 12 days of Christmas WOD both kicked my butt but I loved every second of it. And I ordered a small large at Reginellis. These things happen.

So it’s New Years Eve.

The last day of 2013.

I need to come up with some goals for the New Year, right? Hmmm.

I really dislike ignorant people. A lot.

So yeah, I really don’t like ignorant people. In fact, I don’t like them so much that I hate them too. And before you get your feathers ruffled about another Duck Dynasty rant, cool your jets. This is a Crossfit blog. I’m talking about those people ignorant about Crossfit.

So I went out with a friend of mine last night. I hadn’t seen her in a while and she was going to meet up with some people so I figured I’d tag along. No big deal, right? Wrong. We sit down at Happy’s and start talking about different things, and when I declined another drink, I got judged for it.

“Why not?”

“It’s just one more drink.”

“Oh come on, it’s one drink. What does it matter?”

Well you know what, it matters a lot. I don’t drink a lot, and when I do decide to “let loose” I stop at like, 2. I know, I party hard.

Well, they began asking why and I simply said that I don’t really like treating my body badly. I’m a health nut and one drink is enough for me.

You know what happened next?

“You Crossfit don’t you.”

Out of nowhere. Neither my friend nor myself brought it up. It just came up in the conversation on it’s own, which was incredibly weird.

So I responded that I did, and that I was going to continue to not need another drink for the rest of the night.

“Man, y’all are all the same. Thinking you’re better than everyone else because you go to the gym and snatch, do front squats and burpees. We did that sh*t in football.”

That set me off like dynamite. I didn’t respond though, just sat there in the corner of the booth making awkward obvious eye contact with my friend, visibly mad.

Do I think I’m better than you? No. Absolutely not. I don’t know your life or honestly want to anymore. But you know who I am better than? The person I used to be.

I don’t think I will ever understand the hate for Crossfit. I will admit, I was a little scared to start Crossfit back in April. Hell, I had wanted to start in December 2012 but I kept putting it off. Then when I finally bit the bullet, walked into the box and started working out, I realized that Crossfit is where I belonged.

I think a lot of people who are ignorant about Crossfit express this for a few reasons.

They think Crossfit is dangerous and you will inherently get rhabdo. WRONG. Do Crossfit properly and listen to your body and you won’t.

Crossfit is going to bulk you up (talking to the ladies here).

Do they look bulked up? Didn’t think so. That’s toned y’all.

Everyone who Crossfit HAS to eat Paleo or Zone. Hah. That’s funny. There are lots of people I know who eat Paleo, either strict or 70/30, 80/20, 90/10. When I started Crossfit, I just ate kind of healthy. Then I started eating Paleo, and I’m not going to lie, I saw a definite difference. But whatever, it’s their life, let them live it!

Lastly, the cult atmosphere. People say that Crossfit is a cult. You drink the koolaid, join a box and BOOM, you’re a member of the cult. Eh, let them think that. But you know what this cult does? Support you. Workout with you. Help you. Guide you. This “cult” that non-Crossfitters judge do so out of ignorance*. The people I workout with have become my friends. We socialize together, hangout, help each other, push each other. If you’re one of the last people finishing up a killer WOD, would you rather just hear the beats of the music playing through the gym or the screams of support from your fellow Crossfitters?

“Push it!”

“You’re almost there!”

“Finish strong!”

I’m pretty sure the vast majority of people would choose the screams of support. Just sayin’.

Don’t be ignorant. Don’t knock it before you try it. Just live your life and let everyone else live theirs. You don’t have to be all up in everyone else’s business.

And lastly, don’t let ignorant people push you down. Stand tall and pick up that weight again.

 

*This sentence was not meant to make you think we’re better than you, but I know it sounds that way so I’m just letting you know that that’s not the case.

In search of Mr. Right?

I think the vast majority of girls and “young women” I know will tell you that we’re all looking for Mr. Right.

Someone compatible. Someone who enjoys your hobbies. Someone who gets you and respects you. We all want it right? So why does it take some people a lot longer to find said person, while other people are seemingly only single for a few weeks between their significant other? Because they settle.

And Mr. Wrong is what happens when you settle.

I’ve seen far too many of my girl friends do this. They don’t like being alone so they just pick right back up with someone new, even if that person is just a temporary placeholder. Seen it far too many times.

I’m not really one to talk though. One serious relationship and I’ve been single since. That was 4 years ago. I’ve always enjoyed my independence, and you know what? I get criticized for it. Why do people think it’s not okay for a young woman to just be single and enjoy her independence these days? I’ve already had my share of Mr. Wrongs. I just want to wait. I know the next guy I date might be another Mr. Wrong, but you know what? There’s a chance he could be Mr. Right.

So what makes Mr. Right Mr. Right?

Thought Catalog brings up 5 points.

1. The myth that “all guys are the same” is in fact, a myth.
2. Have standards but be realistic.
3. Sometimes, timing really is everything.
4. Do not limit yourself to your environments.
5. Give him a chance because you never know.

I agree with ALL of these.

No two guys are the same. Ever. Personality? Different. Work ethic? Different. How they treat their bodies? Different. How they treat the women in their life? Different. Every. Single. One. Is different.

Everyone needs to have standards, but you can’t rely on Channing Tatum and Adam Levine to set your standards. You can’t rely on what you see on TV or in the movies to what happens in real life. You have to do you.

Timing? Have you ever tried to force a cap off of a bottle and had the bottle break in your hands? Yeah. Try doing that with a relationship. You can’t force these things. It just has to happen. Give it TIME. (It’s so difficult for me to write that out because people keep telling me this.)

You definitely can’t limit yourself. Why? Timing might be perfect and you walk out of some random store you’ve never been in or some random city you’ve never explored and you might end up meeting Mr. Right. Get out of your comfort zone (something else people tend to tell me a lot). He could be the guy holding the elevator open for you or hands you your coffee in the morning at the drive-thru.

You never know until you try. It’s like beating a dead horse with how often my mother tells me this. If you never say yes, you will never know. Don’t kid yourself. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take (yeah, I know, how cliche).

Now, some things I’d probably add, just personally me. My Mr. Right? He should respect his body and understand that being healthy is part of life. My lifestyle has personally completely flipped. I like being healthy. Healthy is who I’ve become and Mr. Right should respect that. Which brings me to my next point.

Respect.

Every woman needs to be respected. Call me old fashioned or whatever, but when a guy holds open a door for me, brings me flowers or even walks me to my door, I still get butterflies in my stomach. It just feels so right. It also feels great when a guy picks up the phone and calls you and asks you out on a date, not to just “hangout”. That’s respectful.

I’m probably going overboard with this one, but Mr. Right isn’t necessarily going to sleep with you on the first date. I mean, a lot of guys will want to. Let’s be real, guys think about sex pretty consistently, but Mr. Right should respect you and your decisions and he should be ok with waiting until you’re comfortable with it.

I absolutely love getting all dressed up and going to dinner with someone who can rock a suit. There is nothing more attractive than a guy who wears a suit well (ok maybe that’s a lie because Crossfiters can look pretty damn good covered in sweat and dirt).

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only girl who experiences this either. At least I hope I’m not.

Is vodka paleo?

While I personally stick to an 80/20 paleo diet, I also try to eat gluten free whenever I can. This includes drinking. Thankfully, I’m not a big fan of alcohol, but I do have a drink or two when I’m out with friends every now and then. I always find myself asking other people, or even myself, “is this paleo?”

Ok, so I know there are SOME people who need a little kick of something to survive the abundance of family members around for the holidays.

My go to? It’s a toss up between Tito’s and Ketel One. Sadly, neither of these are technically paleo, and I always cut it with water to try and make up for that.

Tito’s Handmade Vodka is made right in the heart of the United States, well, kind of. It’s made in Austin, Texas. The only thing that strict paleoholics might have an issue with is that while it claims to be gluten free, it’s made from corn. While I personally don’t have a problem with this, I know some people might.

Ketel One, while not gluten free, is super smooth and clean. Distilled in the Netherlands, it’s made from wheat. So it’s neither paleo nor gluten free.

I’m trying to switch to a paleo-friendly vodka so I’m going to start changing my pickings when it comes to vodka.

So let’s learn about vodka.

Vodka is a distilled alcoholic drink made from grains, potatoes, soybeans, grapes, rice or sugar beets. Since it’s distilled, technically there shouldn’t be any gluten left in it but there’s always the chance for cross-contamination and whatnot. Because of this, it’s always a good idea to go for a non-grain based vodka such as potato vodka instead of wheat vodka if you’re trying to stick with a strict paleo diet.

Alcohol is definitely extra calories, and some strict “my body is a temple” types might not like to drink (I was one of those, I get it), some might just want a drink every now and then (like me now).

Some of the best paleo friendly vodkas are those made of coconut, fruits, honey, and potatoes.

Grape Vodka – Ciroc

Potato Vodka – RWB, Chopin

Other alcohol related shenanigans

To manage your body’s insulin response to the sugars found in alcohol, mix spirits like tequila or vodka with soda water, ice, and a squeeze of lemon or lime juice. Avoid fruit juices (like cranberry juice) which are basically liquid sugar, and tonic water, which is also high in sugar.

Other paleo-friendly options are red wine, white wine, champagne, brandy, cognac and tequila. Winos should choose the least sweet wines when possible. These include Pinot Noir, Cabernet, Merlot, Sauvignon Blanc and Albarino. Steer clear of beer, bourbon, gin, grain-based vodkas, scotch and whiskey.

Remember, before you pour yourself a glass of any type of alcohol, consider your health goals and overall eating habits. Only then can you make the smart choice about whether or not you should drink. Keep in mind that your liver can’t help you with fat burning if it’s busy detoxifying alcohol (why I don’t drink a lot).

Any active person can’t maintain a high level of health if they’re drinking alcohol frequently or in large quantities. You know that happy place you get after you hit a buzz? It puts stress on your liver. This then creates a strong insulin response and dehydrates your cells.

Always drink extra water when you planning on having a few drinks. Stay hydrated!

And please, please, PLEASE don’t drink and drive! You drink, you drive, you lose!

Guys, take notes

I love the Thought Catalog. Like, love. There are so many posts on there that I can relate to it’s ridiculous.

Like this.

17 Sexiest Things a Guy can Do.

Y’all are great. Lots of fun and great to be around (most of the time). You tell funny jokes at the right moment and anyone who can make me giggle is destined to win at life.

Patience. Patience is HUGE. There really isn’t a lot to be explained here, just be patient with me.

Music isn’t that big of a deal. Just don’t be annoyed by my singing of country music with the windows down and the radio up while it’s sunny and 75,

Massages? Yes please. Times a thousand. Especially deep tissue. Anyone who can maneuver around my knotted up shoulders and back is a godsend.

Please please please clean up well. There are so many times when I want to play dress up and meet up with friends or a guy and they show up in jeans or shorts and a tshirt, all while I’m “gussied up” (one of my best guy friend’s favorite phrases). Suits are hot. Guys who clean up well are hot.

Respect our friends. Nothing bothers me more than getting comfortable with a guy then finding out he wants you to forget about every platonic guy friend you have. These people were my friends before I met you, what makes you think they won’t still be there after I leave you and your attitude?

Be confident. We can tell when you’re not.

Be passionate about something. ANYTHING. Just please don’t let it be serial killers. Or the mafia. Or anything scary.

Kids? If you’re good with kids and show you’re good with kids it will make a woman swoon.

Those little gestures? You know, holding open a door, letting the lady walk through first, eye contact, pulling a chair out or opening a car door? Guess what. They still exist! Chivalry is NOT dead!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T is key and it means a lot to me. Respect my mother, my father, and my siblings. Respect my decisions and be kind. Being protective isn’t bad either ya know.

I’m guilty of this one. I don’t like stepping out of my comfort zone. It makes me uncomfortable (duh). Having someone guide me out of there and be adventurous with me? That would be awesome.

Make an educated effort to contact someone you’re interested in. Personally, I am a grammar queen. I will not respond to a text that says “WYD” or “R U ready?” How difficult is it to spell out a word? You went through high school and hopefully college. Come on, use your big words. I know everyone is busy these days, I, for one, work a crazy weird schedule. Don’t text me at 3am wanting to “hang out”. Not going to happen.

Don’t be two-faced. Don’t be afraid to show your true self. I mean, if you’re in it for the long run and hiding things about yourself, they’re going to sow up eventually. So might as well let them out now, right? If you tell me you can catch, clean and cook a fish and you can’t? I’m going to know.

I know men are emotional. I know men show this facade of strength because they don’t want to be viewed as weak. It’s ok to show emotion. It’s attractive y’all. Everyone affects everyone else. Everyone has insecurities, you don’t have to act like nothing is wrong all the time, because oftentimes, something is. It’s ok! Take a deep breath and don’t be emotionless!

Bonus points for being a dog lover. Personally, my dog is my life and she was here before you, and she can be here after you. Be smart about these things. But please love dogs. They’re amazing.